Clarification...

Well, let me just start off by telling you just how much I love my husband. He makes me laugh constantly! He is my hero who unconditionally loves me, protects me, and picks me up when I am broken. I am so glad that he has started adding his thoughts to our blog!! I love reading what he has to say, and I think his words are so powerful!

BUT.... I must confess, I am so embarrassed! Clarification: 1. I do not LOVE shower caps ( and I can't believe he told the world I did ) I just hate getting my hair wet when I am not washing it that day, that's all... girl thing :) (seriously so embarrassing!) 2. Staley is just like his mom AND DAD- it's a good thing, but yes, he has picked up my horrible, pull everything apart that I eat habit, and it is a HUGE pet peave of mine. :)

Now that is out of the way.... We have had a funny week this past week. My boys never cease to amaze me with the things they say, and funny things they do. Staley lost 2 teeth this week! He was so excited to put both his teeth and a spacer under his pillow to see what the tooth fairy might bring. Well, to make a long story short... a good 4-5 months or so ago, Staley and I were on our way home from "The Sharing Place" ( a grief group for children who have had a close family member die- and the greatest thing that has helped my boys!!) Anyway, for some random reason we were talking about adoption and I told Staley how someday his dad and I would love to adopt a baby. Well, Staley came home from school the next day telling me how he announced to his whole class how we were adopting a baby- tomorrow!! Needless to say we had to have another conversation about that... :) What does that have to do with Staley losing a tooth you ask? Well, so the day after he put his tooth under his pillow he woke up so excited to see if the tooth fairy left him any money- which she did- and he immediately ran to find his dad and hand him over his money saying, "Here Dad this is so you can buy a baby" not to mention he completely emptied out his piggy bank the night before to help his dad start saving up money to buy a baby.... random!?

Taysen found his nose this week, but more importantly his nostrils which he won't keep his finger out of- he thinks it is the funniest thing. Stockton started using scare tactics on me if he doesn't get absolutely everything he wants, the second he wants it.... "Okay well then I am not going to be in this family anymore if you don't give me.... I am going to go find a new mom..." ???

I LOVE my boys.. did I ever mention that? I truly love, love, love being a mom, and even though at times our house can be complete chaos, at the end of everyday I am so incredibly grateful for the opportunity Heavenly Father has given Austin and I to be parents. What a magnificent gift!

As Austin mentioned in his post, our new baby girl is going to be here by Tuesday! Like a day and a half away!! It is crazy, it is surreal, it is such a blessing and I am so incredibly scared! For baby number 5 you would think it would be no big deal right? Well, I think it is more than that. I think deep down I don't want to fail. I think deep down I want everything to be perfect. I think deep down I don't want to replace- but I want to have a second chance to prove that I can do it and that I can do it right and I can be the best mom that this little girl could ever have... silly you may say? Probably... but truthful. I am so scared that I won't measure up, that I will let her down, that I could do better- and I so need to get over that. I am so excited to have girl things back in the house, to have pink, to have another baby girl! Taysen was such a blessing for our family and came to us right when we needed him here. I think this little girl will too, help us heal. I want her to be her own- I don't want to compare or replace, but enjoy this new little spirit for who she is and for her role Heavenly Father intended her to be in our family!

By Kim