First of all... let me apologize for anyone who read my previous post! If that isn't a funk... I don't know what is! Memorial Weekend kicked my trash- big time. Hard/sad weekend- but it was honestly so nice to finally just have everything out in the open... no more bottling it up- just a complete broken heart. I seem to feel SO much better when I can just let the walls down and be human- but I put myself in an awkward situation that I will probably regret in a few days, but today I don't care... This is me...
Okay- enough of that!
I was on my way out to my car after zumba class today and another instructor who was leaving (Ana- for anyone who knows her :)) stopped in the middle of the road rolled down the window and asked, "So, when are you getting pregnant again!?" I couldn't stop laughing... I know I am quite the sight. Picture this- Here am I- one arm has my gym bag, water bottle, diaper bag and Taysen- (my super cute 1 1/2 yr old) Other arm... Kenzlie (now 4 months- also super cute) in her monster carrier, with stockton (4 yrs.he too is..yep, you guessed it- super cute) holding on to my back pocket so he doesn't get smashed by a car.... I can't really say that I know how I look- but I get comments ALL the time! So I know it must be pretty bad! :) And.... to add to that- I teach sports cycling- ( spinning/sports drills/stairs....class) Well, yesterday I was SO not feeling good- still in my funk obviously- I asked my class a couple of times if anyone else felt like they were going to puke... probably 4 different people at the same time asked if I was pregnant- again! For the record...No, I am not. But it is funny that for the past 6 1/2 years I have practically ALWAYS been pregnant, and everyone I know- knows that. :)
I love, love, love being a mom! And as silly as I look- I wouldn't trade it for the world! I am so incredibly grateful for every single one of my babies!! I am truly SO blessed!
...just thought I would share. :)
Kim, I think one day you should let me take a photo for you. It is really cute to see your arms (and pockets) full of kids. *
ReplyDeleteHey I think you are a super cute mommy with super cute kids!! :P
ReplyDeleteKim, I just think you are so cute! You are an amazing girl! It breaks my heart to read about how heart broken you are, because whenever I think about "Kim Binks", I see a girl who has a permanent smile on her face, so sweet and loving towards everyone, and it is seriously so hard to picture you any different. I know that you are still that girl that has a natural way of making others feel happy, just by seeing your smile. You still are "Kim", but now you have some extra added strength to your spirit from the trials your family has had to go through. You wouldn't be you without them. We love you for sharing, and for letting us know, that it is still hard for you. We wouldn't understand if it wasn't hard still, and you are a more beautiful person and family for the strength that you have shown through it.
ReplyDeleteI do hope with all my heart that it gets easier for you to feel peace about it, and I know Heavenly Father wants you to feel that too. He loves you, and I don't think its easy for him to see us go through these trials either, because he loves us just like you love your kiddos. I am sure he wants you to rely on him more now, so he can give you the comfort and peace that he wants to give you!
You really are the cutest mom ever too, and I hope your family can get their immune systems back up soon!
Oh, and you wouldn't be Kim, without all those cute kids hanging on to you too. :)
That is such a funny story. There is nothing better in the world than to have your arms filled with babies...and that shows your true strength!
ReplyDeleteOh Kim, you can't apologize for what you wrote previously. You are so real, and we are the lucky ones for being able to have a glimpse into your world. Every time you write about your experiences, it helps me do some self-examination. Even though I will NEVER understand the pain unless I go through something similar, your words always deeply touch me, and I love you for it.
Yesterday I was getting things cleaned up from dinner and the boys were watching a show, I pulled Cori out of her high chair and started loading the dishwasher (Joe wasn't home). A couple minutes later I noticed that the laundry room door was wide open! Corinne can't turn door handles but I walked outside to figure out what was going on. I called her name and someone from the front yard called my name. It was a neighbor driving by and saw Corinne standing in the middle of the road. The door must have been cracked or something. Every parent has a story like this. As much as we want to be in control at all times, it is not possible.
I really do still pray for you and your family, you are such a wonderful mother, I have looked up to the way you parent from the time you started having kids. You have ALWAYS been so thankful for the opportunity to be a mother. I don't know in which ways the loss of Kamberlie has changed you but I love THIS KIM. Even though those private moments have got to be unbearable, they have made you an even more beautiful person than before (and you were pretty darn beautiful to begin with).